1. You’re looking for approval
What’s going on: You don’t feel confident and constantly try to get approval from people whose opinion is important to you. You do something in order to be praised or complimented by your boss, colleagues, friends, and relatives. If you get approval, you feel that you did something “good.” If you didn’t receive the desired feedback, you feel as if you did something unimportant or “bad.”
What to do: You have to decide that you’re good and that you don’t have to prove it. Instead of looking for approval, strive to achieve your goals. Develop and progress in your profession, take care of your health, love, and be loved. Confidence will become your faithful companion, and your need for approval will disappear.
2.You blame yourself for other people’s emotions.
What’s going on: You often apologize if you can’t fulfill someone’s request or didn’t guess someone’s thoughts, expectations, or feelings. Anger, offense, sadness, dissatisfaction — any negative emotions of other people frighten you and make you feel guilty.
What to do: Put down the boulder you are trying to carry — the responsibility for someone else’s feelings, problems, and expectations. When you feel strangled by guilt, think about this: what did that person do in order to resolve their problem? Why do they have time for whining and suffering if the problem is not resolved yet?
3. You can’t say no.
What’s going on: There are more of someone else’s tasks on your to-do list than your own. Helping, consulting, buying, looking after, lending — every little thing wastes your precious time. If you’re asked what all these people have ever done for you, you’ll probably grow old thinking of an answer.
What to do: Make your own tasks your number one priority. If someone tries to prove that you’re a selfish and ungrateful person, it’s more likely a manipulation of your emotions. Before blindly extending a helping hand to someone, ask yourself if this person, in fact, profits from being saved all the time.
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